DELAYED GRATIFICATION

what i'm finding so challenging with the work i'm doing is the delay between the interest and the execution. the silence between presenting and impact. and the time between implementation and momentum.

they say all good things take time, but how do you stay motivated when there's rarely any visible reward or reinforcement? when gaining any traction feels like you're swimming upstream? when the time taken between a company's interest and implementation could be months, if not years? when you feel like you've got everything you need; the idea, the product, the need, and the capability, but not the platform?

i've written before about the need to let go and to allow the universe to guide you, but taking a passive approach and 'waiting' for things to happen doesn't feel conducive to building a brand and a business. at what point is taking an active approach actually forcing something not meant to be?

what i've found through most of my life is that people opt for passive approaches with regards to relationships in their lives. for example, "let me know if you need anything" - this phrase, although well intended, is passive. it's asking the other person, whom we assume is struggling, to figure out what they need and communicate that to you, someone who hasn't actively tried to support them.

so instead of taking a passive approach, how can you take an active approach? how can you actively show interest in others' lives? can you leave a review? share their work? advocate for them? discuss their ideas? promote their business? all of these suggestions cost nothing but a little of your time. and the return? i guarantee you'll not only have their appreciation and gratitude, but you'll also feel pretty grand yourself.

"happiness may only be found by helping others find it."

THE DISHEARTENING NATURE OF INFORMATION

they say knowledge is power, but sometimes knowledge can be disheartening.

we live in a world where information is readily available - we're constantly exposed to the achievements of others, to news in the world, to answers on the internet. but instead of this being empowering, i find that the more we know, the less content we feel.

social media is no longer a platform to merely share your life - it's a platform to share your highlights. how many photos were you deciding upon before you opted for the one you posted? when was the last time you posted a photo of you crying? of you brushing your teeth? of you watching netflix? we don't post these because they seem like insignificant details in our lives that no one else would be interested in. but it's these details, these incidental moments, that occupy the majority of our lives yet they're the moments that are shared the least.

what this does is it fills our brain with inaccurate representations of others' lives. how many times have you had a really amazing day, only to jump online and feel disheartened because someone else's life appears more exciting? or perhaps, like me, you're trying to promote content and are struggling to gain a following. yet you see 'influencers' who post nothing but photos of themselves with thousands of followers. and although you can believe in what you're doing, it doesn't negate how discouraging it is to see others have what you don't; to see their success, but not their struggle.

this can apply to other realms of life too - knowing what other employees or teammates make within your organisation might seem like relevant information to advocate for yourself, but what i've found is that it only serves to fuel bitterness and resentment. when you know something, you can't ignore it; that knowledge occupies your mind. what we don't know, we can't think about. ignorance then, really can be bliss.

so being ignorant or informed, which do you choose?

MY NEED FOR RECOGNITION

is it my need or is it a basic human need? why do we need to feel recognised? aren't we conditioned to believe that internal recognition is more important than external recognition? if that's true, why then does it feel so good when we are finally recognised by others?

humans have a basic natural desire to feel valued. to feel like what they are doing has some form of purpose bigger than themselves. if recognition only comes from within, does that really satiate that drive for a bigger purpose? consciously you can be fully convicted that what you're doing matters, but how long does your conviction last if you feel you're the only one recognising it?

for most of my life, i've felt very overlooked when it comes to different aspects in my life. ever since i was a kid, i had teammates who opted for drugs and alcohol get selected for teams i was busting my arse trying to make. in college, i was overlooked for captaincy because i wasn't "liked" by everyone. and today, i continue to be overlooked. but the question i ask myself is, why do you care? why does it matter whether others recognise your abilities? is it not enough to have conviction of your influence and worth?

i would love to say yes, but that would be betraying what i'm feeling. the truth is, my internal conviction picks me up when i do get knocked back, but it's not enough to make me feel valued. i, and i think it would be fair to say we, need external recognition. we need to feel appreciated. we need to feel valued. and we need things to feel fair.

adam's theory of equity states that if my input is more significant than another's, yet my output is less than theirs, i'm going to feel pretty disgruntled about it. i'm going to start questioning, hang on, why am i doing all of this if Sally over there can do less and still receive more? humans want what is easy; we're literally wired that way - so if someone is doing more but receiving less, i guarantee they won't keep doing more for long.

so what can you do? if you're in a position of power, be sure to keep things fair. recognise your people for their efforts. and not just verbally; offer them that promotion. offer them financial bonuses. offer them that opportunity. advocate for them. humans need praise, they need to feel valued, they need to feel like what they're doing matters. so how can you make someone feel like they matter?