life of a substitute

something that hardly ever gets covered within sporting communities is how to navigate a life on the bench. it's one of the most brutal positions to be in as a player, but how you navigate it quite often determines the cohesiveness within a team. so how do you go about being a substitute? what's important for coaches and players alike to know about navigating a crucial but often neglected part of competitive sports?

please note these experiences are written specifically about soccer as i think all sports have their own unique challenges with substitutes.

let's go over some basic rules for soccer - 11 players start and quite often there's five players on the bench, one of those being a keeper which leaves four field players. during the game, a coach is able to make a total of five subs, but through 3 separate substitutions. so what's the likelihood of being subbed on? chances are higher for strikers, wingers, and full backs, sometimes even for midfielders. but central defenders and goalkeepers rarely get subbed on unless one of the starting players gets injured. why is any of this important? because it's important to understand the psychology that goes behind being a bench player. in other sporting codes, like aussie rules football, the bench is interchange meaning all players get used somewhat equally. everyone will come off at some point and everyone will play. in soccer however, it's not uncommon for multiple subs to not play. again, why does this matter? and how does it affect culture?

in aussie rules football, i've heard very good things about the culture. girls seem to get around each other in trainings and games. and i've often wondered why? i think a lot of it comes down to the way in which substitutes are used. in aussie rules football, even if you start on the bench, you still get an opportunity to contribute. you still get to play. you're still viewed as an equal. in soccer however, you might not get that opportunity. so how do you support a teammate who is playing your position, essentially preventing you from doing what you want to do - to play? i think this explains why in a lot of soccer teams i've been a part of, bitchiness and cattiness results. because it's hard to feel a part of a team that you're not actively playing in. it's also important to note that this is a different psychological challenge from that of being injured - being injured means there's no chance of you playing. when you're fit and healthy but aren't chosen that means accepting the potential reality that you aren't good enough (yet or in the coach's eyes). it feels like rejection.

so how do you navigate this, especially if it's your reality every week?

i think one of the most important things is to be honest with yourself. be honest with where you sit in the pecking order of the team. i think quite often a lot of our frustrations come from being disillusioned about our abilities in comparison to others. i think it's also important to look at the players playing your position and ask why are they playing ahead of you? again, be honest here. don't just put it down to the coach having favourites, which occasionally has its merits. but look at what do these players do well? what do they have that i don't? is there any way that i can develop these skills? sometimes the reason you're not playing isn't because you're not good enough, but because the two people ahead of you are more experienced than you, or have potentially had more opportunity to prove themselves than you. although frustrating, sometimes it just isn't your time on that team. luck plays a MASSIVE role in whether you get an opportunity. and that's something you can't control, but it is something you can make sure you are prepared for when you do eventually get an opportunity.

so how do you prepare as a sub? how do you prepare yourself mentally? physically? emotionally? mentally it's challenging. because you need to get yourself up and ready as though you are going to play, especially because things happen - players get injured in warm up, players wake up sick, players et sent off, cars break down. life happens. but the problem with getting yourself amped up is the disappointment that follows when/if you don't get to play. this is a reality you have to prepare for. you have to acknowledge, every game, that there's a very real possibility you might not play. but i don't think you can assume this is the case. preparing in this way means you might not be psychologically prepared when/if you get an opportunity to play.

in regards to physical preparations, this is hard. i think one of the worst thing coaches get players to do is run after a game in which they haven't played in. why? because they've already had to sit through an entire game, not playing, they then are almost being doubly punished by having to run after the game. i don't know about other players, but i don't play soccer to run. and having to run to make up for not playing is the cruellest form of 'punishment'. as a coach, can you organise for these players, instead, to play a mini game? a conditioning game, during training? this way they're still feeling a part of the team, rather than being isolated by doing extra after a game. also see if there's an opportunity for these players to play for a reserves side or something alike so they're still maintaining match fitness - something that no amount of running can make up for.

but probably one of the hardest things to adjust to as a substitute is knowing how to fuel yourself. realistically, you have to fuel yourself as though you were going to play 90minutes. but what do you do with all of those extra calories when/if you don't play? how do you psychologically navigate that? i think this is why coaches make players run after a game rather than on a separate day. but i don't know if that is the best solution. admittedly this is something i'm still trying to navigate myself - to let go of being able to control consuming excess calories i haven't been able to burn off. i'm not entirely sure how this would contribute to weight gain, if it would, but it's something i know i've been concerned about as i know others have too.

what's important for a coach to do when handling substitutes? honesty. honesty above all else. how likely is it for a player to play? finding a way to communicate this to a player without destroying their hope, but also not giving them false hope is a skill. telling players to 'keep doing what they're doing' isn't helpful nor honest. telling a player 'your opportunity will come when/if one of the centrebacks gets injured' is frustrating, but it's honest. a player is more likely to be able to accept their situation knowing where they stand. it's when players are given false hope, when players are told 'the team will be chosen based on training' but players who miss training still start, that's what causes frustration within a team. because the reality is, most coaches are choosing their 11 based on previous performances. if a player hasn't done anything 'wrong' in a game, they're probably still going to start. how though, can you keep these substitutes motivated when the reality is no matter how hard they work, it's not going to change their playing situation? this, i think, is an art.

an art that partly comes down to the management and how coaches communicate with their players. an art that comes down to the team culture and how they make these substitutes still feel valued and a part of the team. how these players are communicated to and with from their peers. but it also comes down to an individual. how well can an individual accept their situation? how well can they still support the team, even if they're not actively contributing? i think this is what separates an average teammate from an excellent one.

it is IMPERATIVE from a coaching perspective to prioritise their substitutes. just because they aren't in your starting 11, how are you developing them? how are you making them better? how are you involving them in the team? are you acknowledging their role? their positivity? because when players do everything 'right' but are still overlooked, that's when they get frustrated. when starting players 'abuse' their position of being a starter, whether that's by attendance, commitment, or effort, that's when substitutes get frustrated. it's human to get upset when people putting in less, get more, when you're putting in more and getting less (adam's theory of equity).

bench players are the most important players on a team. they determine your culture. but in order to have 'happy' substitutes, you have to nurture them. you have to value them. and you have to be honest with them. that's not just the coaches, that's the other players too.

so how do you decide whether to stay and work harder or leave to play somewhere else? that's the million dollar question. how you go about answering this depends on many factors - e.g. where you are in your playing career, what you're wanting to get out of your playing career, and what's important to you. for me, if i'm learning in an environment, if i feel valued in an environment, if the players around me are better than me, if i see a potential opportunity in the future, and if there's logic to the coach's choices, i'll probably stay even if i might not be getting played. but if the aforementioned aren't fulfilled, i'm more than likely looking elsewhere where i am valued, appreciated, respected and challenged.

the final thought i have, as i currently find myself riding the bench, is that this isn't a novel experience for a soccer player; it's almost guaranteed. every team, in every country, has substitutes. and some of the best players in the world currently find themselves occupying the space next to their coach. so before making a hasty decision to leave, remember players all over the world navigate this experience too - no one, no matter how good, is immune to accepting a role as a substitute.

life of a not-quite professional athlete

i moved over to the UK to gain experience i haven't been able to achieve in australia. i moved over wanting to play professionally, but quickly realised that wouldn't be possible as the level i've played at in australia dictates the level i can play over here because of brexit and their rules pertaining to GBE points. although unbelievably frustrating and limiting, i am still able to play semi-professionally here. but what's the difference between professional and semi-professional? and why does it matter to acknowledge the differences?

semi-professional can easily be summarised as self-funded - you're responsible for doing everything yourself. and when you're self-employed, you don't always get paid for the work you do. prior to coming to the UK, i had to sort myself a visa, pay for a visa, and pay for the national health insurance surcharge (nearly $2000). i then had to pay for my flights, sort my accommodation, and email clubs myself. i could have had an agent do this on my behalf, but not being able to sign a professional contract (because of the point system) doesn't give much incentive for an agent to work hard for me.

okay, so i'm in the UK and i've emailed clubs - now what? now i have to wait for the clubs to get back to me. and once they get back to me, i then have to sort a way to get to these clubs - either via public transport (which doesn't allow much flexibility) or by hiring a car. hiring a car over here, without insurance, is about $60 a day (at its cheapest). but you're obviously taking a risk. to add insurance, it triples the price of hiring a car. and when i needed to hire a car at least 5 times, that quickly adds up. as does the cost of petrol which costs approximately $110 to fill up a tank ($2.70 a litre).

i was very fortunate that for the first 6 weeks i was able to set up a base at my partner's cousin's place which meant free accommodation. but i did still have to hire accommodation for trials that were beyond driving distance in one day (e.g. more than 2 hours when training finishes at 10pm). so accommodation costs are also at my own expense. but the biggest problem with being semi professional, other than the lack of financial reimbursement, is the uncertainty. i came over here having nothing organised - not from lack of effort or trying, but because i couldn't organise anything from australia. every week i was unsettled because i never knew where i was going to be - i didn't know who i was going to be trialling with and whether i would realistically be able to get there in such short notice.

i've obviously come over here mid-season, which in itself presents a lot of challenges because teams are often already established and their finances issued. there's also no real urgency to bring a player in - so i wasn't a priority to a lot of teams (which i understand). now compare this to someone who's professional - none of these issues mentioned are a thing for them. their visa gets sorted for them, flights are paid for, accommodation sorted, travel organised, potentially a car loaned to them, and they have a team. there's no uncertainty. there's no out-of-pocket financial costs. and there's also a contract waiting for them to provide income.

so how does the time commitment differ from that of a semi-professional to that of a professional? as a semi professional team, we train three times a week for two hours, with two one hour gym sessions. in addition to this, there's team analysis for an hour after training as well as a scout report, and occasionally individual meetings to discuss IDPs (individual development plan). recovery isn't mandated by the team, but it usually takes up another 1.5 hours during the week. lastly there's game days, which take up at least 5 hours. so all of this adds up to at least 15 hours, without factoring in travel. professional teams have a similar itinerary, but they might have an additional training session.

on sunday we had a friendly in liverpool - a 3.5 hour bus ride. it took me 1.5 hours to get to the club, before sitting on a bus for 3.5 hours. we then had our game, had some food, back on the bus. i left at 7:30am and got home at 10pm. all food, except for the sandwiches after the game, were at my own expense. again, this is something that differs significantly for professional and semi-professional environments - in professional environments, food expenses are covered. in semi-professional, as i first stated, it's self-funded.

i think what's really difficult is that the women's game is evidently getting stronger and more competitive. the gaps between leagues are becoming smaller, yet the gaps between professional and semi-professional aren't. there is a massive financial burden on those who are semi-professional* but one of the biggest problems is the expectations. semi-professional athletes are expected to train and behave like professionals. they're expected to prioritise their sport, even though financially they aren't getting reimbursed for it. through most of my career, it's just been accepted that you give up work for your sport - because you love the game and that's what you do when you love it, right? but where do you draw the line? it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation in regards to what comes first - player's commitment and expectations, or the environment and the pay? i think for so long women have been expected to give up their lives, their jobs, their pay to play semi-professionally but it really isn't feasible. but i also know from a coaching perspective, their hands are tied. and it's nearly impossible to build a team with half commitment. so what needs to happen? there needs to be more financial investment. there needs to be a respectful wage offered to players giving up at least 15 hours of their week (excluding travel). and there needs to be more resources available for those who are professional in their mindset, behaviour, and expectations, but aren't-quite-there-yet or haven't been gifted an opportunity to play professional. and the main reason so many of these athletes aren't professional? it's not because they're not good enough, but it's because there aren't enough fully professional teams in their sport. quite often, only the top tier of women's sporting divisions are fully professional and paid adequately. in the men's? you can play for a 6th tier soccer club over here (UK) and still earn more than what a female would in a semi-professional (tier 2 or 3) environment.

women's sport needs more investment. semi-professional shouldn't still mean self-funded.

*admittedly there is still a financial burden on many professional female players too

**please note these are based off my experiences in former professional environments and what i've heard from other players in professional environments. i acknowledge there is a large discrepancy between professional teams and their offerings.

all monetary figures are in AUD - to convert to pounds, divide by 2

belonging cues

i've now been in the UK for a month. and within this time i've experienced a multitude of new environments - whether that's meeting my partner's family, exploring new cities, or the various trials i've been to. new environments are inherently daunting. they're unfamiliar. they're uncomfortable. but there's a few things people can do within these environments that make the world of difference to someone who is feeling apprehensive.

admittedly i've been fortunate that in all the trials i've been to, everyone has been extremely nice. i haven't experienced the cattiness or bitchiness that can sometimes accompany a potential 'threat' in a new environment. having said that, some teams have been more welcoming than others, with one in particular standing out. so how can you make someone feel welcome? what are important actions to execute to ensure that an environment feels as safe as it possibly can?

1. prior to arrival, the first thing a team can do is to communicate. make sure that you've explained clearly how to get to a location - where you need to go, where you can park, what you need to wear, and where / who you're going to meet. i arrived at my very first trial here to a boom gate which i couldn't enter, and a car park i had to walk half a mile from just to get to the club rooms. i then couldn't find the team, only to find out that they were in a meeting before heading in for a gym session - none of which was communicated to me prior. on the contrary, other clubs clearly communicated their plans for the evening, where to meet, and the people i might meet during my trial (coaches, staff etc). giving people this information prior to their arrival helps to build familiarity in an unfamiliar environment. it also helps to make the individual feel like they're a priority rather than an afterthought.

2. upon arriving it's imperative to have someone meet the person - whether that's a captain, a coach, or some other teammate. it's then important to get them to show the person around or introduce them to others. new environments can be overwhelming. you're trying your best to learn 20 people's names in the space of 5 minutes (and you're going to forget a lot of them). having someone who identifies themselves as the point of contact can aid in making someone feel comfortable. almost like a buddy in a way.

3. be forthcoming with assistance, especially if someone isn't local to an area. do they need somewhere to stay? somewhere to eat? what are their plans after training? do they need help finding a job? can you share some of your knowledge of the area to aid in the individual having to investigate and discover these things for themselves. better yet, can you include them in some of your plans. in novel environments, when someone is feeling apprehensive, they're unlikely to ask for help. anticipating what someone might need can go a long way in ensuring they feel both safe and comfortable.

4. use forward focused language. when people are trialling at multiple places, they're essentially putting the team on trial too. they're assessing - is this a good fit? am i welcome here? will i be valued? things like using forward focused language can help an individual feel like they're a part of the team. e.g. things like - "you'll score a lot of goals for us this season" or "when are you signing for us?"

5. acknowledge their strengths! no matter how experienced or confident an individual is, they're not immune to feeling the effects of self-doubt in new environments.

6. follow up promptly. make sure you seek the player out to have the conversation. don't wait for them to come to you. ask them when they're coming back to train with you again. ask if there's anything you can do to help them in coming back. and acknowledge their strengths. players want and need to feel wanted. coaches that are indifferent, that don't have a plan for a player's return or a plan for the player to sign, make the player feel like they're not that valued. if someone is interested in you, they'll make it known.

7. uniforms. i've mentioned this in "how to make someone feel valued" - the sooner that individual can look like everyone else, the sooner they'll feel like everyone else - the sooner they'll be an insider rather than an outsider.

as i mentioned, i've now trialled at five different clubs. admittedly the first two clubs were only for a session, but the last three have been for a week. and there's one club, one person, that stood out to me in executing the majority of the points mentioned above. this person spoke to me prior to training, asked me about my past, then during training acknowledged my strengths. he could see i was good in the air and said "you're going to cost me a lot of money this year with scoring goals." this is vastly different from a previous team who, upon scoring multiple goals in training from set pieces, claimed it was due to my height rather than skill.

the biggest thing this coach did though, was he asked where i was staying that night. he then offered his number and said "if you're bored later, we're going to this bar if you want to hang out." not only was this an opportunity to socialise, but he also offered to pick me up. to take the uncertainty out of being in an unfamiliar environment. and to create an opportunity to learn more about one another. the following day he followed up by asking if i wanted to meet in the city to go shopping for christmas attire and proceeded to show me around the club's facilities. admittedly this team trains from 3-5pm so it's a lot easier to have these sort of interactions but it's a stark contrast to opposing teams and their approach. i ran into coaches from a team i had just trialled with at a restaurant for dinner. they said hello, acknowledged me, but then didn't invite me to sit with them. so i ended up eating alone. it might not seem like a big deal, but that's the difference between someone feeling like an insider and an outsider.

other coaches and teams have been seemingly okay with me trialling for other clubs. there's two ways to interpret this: these coaches are extremely nice and understanding of my situation, wanting me to explore all options before making a decision, or they're indifferent if i sign for them. this has been one thing i've really struggled with in the UK. if anyone of quality trials with a team in Adelaide, we are doing whatever we can to sign them. even if we can't guarantee a starting position, if they have ability, add value, and don't cost a fortune, why wouldn't you sign them? why would you risk a decent player playing for an opposition team? if someone wants you, they make it known. it would be like going on a date with someone and them saying, "i'm okay if you go on other dates and i don't see you again for another month." you just wouldn't do that. again, it's the importance of forward focused language.

it's also important to invite an individual to more than one trial. i think that's what was so hard about the trial i had with an a-league team - it was a one day trial, the day after a game. as a coach here mentioned, "i'm not willing to assess anyone off one session. because they're nervous, it's an unfamiliar environment, no one is going to excel in that." acknowledging the role that an environment has on an individual is imperative for being unbiased in your selection process.

so what does all of this come down to? it comes down to making an environment feel safe. the safer individuals feel, the more confident they'll be. as i've referenced previously with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - there are certain things individuals need before they can reach their excellence. even prior to feeling safe, people need basic physiological needs met. food. water. sleep. stability. if a team can assist in any of those, it goes a long way in making an individual satiate the next tier of needs - safety. the next tier above safety is love and belongingness. so what are some ways you can make someone feel like they belong? use belonging cues. daniel coyle talks about these in the culture code. use phrases that communicate, you are part of this group, this group is special, and i believe in you.

dissecting this one team's behaviour, they executed these cues by inviting me into their group. asking me to socialise. sitting with me for lunch. asking me when i was signing. getting excited when i was on their team because i'm a 'class' player. they communicated that their group is special by the facilities they have access to and they further communicated their belief in me with their forward focused language.

so the next time you have someone new trial for your team or workplace, are you able to think about the aforementioned points. how can you make them feel safe? what belonging cues are you sending them? can you be forthcoming with assistance, rather than waiting for them to come to you? and how quickly can you get them to put pen to paper? to make their uncertainty, certain?