WHAT IS THE UNIVERSE ASKING OF ME?

"the teacher will present itself when the student is ready."

life can be challenging. but challenges serve to help us grow. the more pain we experience, the more growth we have to endure.

recently i've been asking myself the aforementioned question - what is the universe asking of me in this moment? or alternatively, what lesson am i still to learn from this experience? abraham hicks states that every experience either fulfills a desire, or it enhances a desire. so any time you experience something adverse, it's really strengthening a desire to experience the opposite.

for example, if you're in a relationship and you're not feeling heard or seen, as frustrating as that can be, it can strengthen your desire to find someone who does hear you. see you. and support you. what pains us is often what is important to us. the first question i then ask is, where can i adjust? can i change the way i'm viewing this? can i let go of this desire or does letting go compromise who i am and what i believe?

i'm finding that within my desire to understand others and their behaviours, i can sometimes be too accepting of behaviour that is really not serving to myself or them. and perhaps there's a lesson to learn in this naivety - to be compassionate, but discerning. we teach others how to treat us through what we reinforce and what we punish so if someone isn't treating you the way you want to be treated, what role have you played in their behaviour?

the next time you experience something adverse, remember that pain signals room for growth. ask yourself: what's the lesson and where can i adjust? what desire is this either fulfilling or enhancing?

BEING YOURSELF

have you ever wondered why your relationships or friendships don't seem fulfilling? have you ever felt like you weren't being heard or seen? have you ever stopped to ask yourself if it's really you or an idea of you that you're presenting to these individuals?

part of being human means we have a desire to conform, a desire to 'fit in'. we're social creatures; we need other people. but at what cost are you willing to merely 'fit in'? what parts of you are you sacrificing for these relationships?

in order to be accepted for who you are, you must first have the courage to be yourself. is there a chance of rejection? yes! is there is a chance of judgement? absolutely! but there's also a chance to form a beautiful, authentic connection.

when you choose to be the rawest and realest version of yourself, you give others a choice - a choice to either embrace you, or distance themselves from you. and what you'll find is you'll stop wasting time with people who don't accept you. who don't see you. who don't embrace you for you.

for most of my life i've been told i'm too much. too intense. that all i want to do is talk about feelings. and for a few years i tried to censor myself; i tried to be less. but it was miserable. it wasn't until i chose to be myself, as deep and intense as i sometimes can be, that i started to find my people. that i started to not just be accepted for who i was, but embraced for it.

and now? i'm surrounded by these people. and i'm surrounded only because i took the time to figure out what makes me, me. and then i chose, with unwavering commitment, to be that person regardless of the consequences. knowing yourself, and i mean deeply knowing yourself, allows you the confidence and security to be yourself in any situation. and it's only then will you find 'your people'.

so, what makes you, you? and how can you live truest to this person that you are?

CHEATING

what does it mean to ‘cheat on someone’?

is it considered cheating to be attracted to someone else? to feel connected to someone else? to kiss someone else? what do you define as cheating? and is this your definition, or society’s?

can you control who you’re attracted to? who you feel connected to?

can we get all of our needs met from one person? if you think we can, why then do we have multiple friends? is it not because they each offer us something different? because we can’t get all of our emotional needs met from one person? why then do we think it’s possible to get all of our physical needs met from one person? is kissing someone who you feel attracted to really that wrong? or is it only perceived as wrong because of how society has conditioned us to view relationships and the behaviours within it?

humans are imperfect. humans are complex. but sometimes i think the rules we’ve created for our lives are too simplistic to follow - they set us up for failure. they set us up to be “bad people”.

i’ve been attracted to other girls whilst in relationships before. i’ve also thought about kissing them. and i’ve dreamt about having sex with them. i share this not to be judged, but to normalise what i suspect many of us experience as being human.

when your needs aren’t met in your relationship, which some of them won’t be, it’s only natural for your body and mind to seek that elsewhere. understanding your attraction to others is beautiful if you let it be - beautiful because it teaches you more about yourself and what is important to you.

so next time you feel attraction, become curious. what does this person possess that you’re so drawn to? having feelings doesn’t mean you need to act on them, but trying to suppress them will only strengthen them. allow what you feel to exist and exist without judgement.