KNOW YOUR VALUE

i’ve realised over the years that a lot of organisations and sporting teams care more about the role you fill than they do about your development. lip service is easy - people are becoming very good at telling you exactly what you want to hear, so how can you discern what’s real and what’s bullshit?

notice their sales pitch. are they talking about how well you’ll fit in with the team? how much you can help develop the organisation? what YOU can do for THEM? or are they focusing on your development and how THEY can help YOU? because if the latter doesn’t exist, they’re not interested in you as a person, only the role you can fill.

not only have i been overlooked for my playing abilities over the years, but i’ve felt i’ve been overlooked for my leadership abilities, too. salisbury inter, and specifically the head coach there, targeted me in 2018 with the specific intentions of a mutually beneficial relationship. she spoke about the culture and professionalism i could bring to the club, but more importantly, she spoke about how she could develop me as a player and as a person.

the first thing this coach gave me was not a starting position, it was trust. and along with the trust, she gave me opportunities. she gave me a platform in which i could lead without question. she wholeheartedly valued me as a leader first, player second. and for the first time in as long as i can remember, i felt seen and valued as more than just a player. i felt seen and valued as a human.

not every coach, nor every boss, is going to be the one for you. the old mantra of “sticking it out” isn’t constructive. if you’re not valued, and you’ll know when you’re not, find someone, find somewhere who knows your worth. because when you do, you’ll never question your value again.

TREAT THE MAN, NOT THE SCAN

last tuesday i had surgery on my knee to repair a torn meniscus and to remove the screw from my previous surgery. prior to surgery i had questioned the surgeon as to whether he would repair my supposedly ruptured acl, to which he had a feel of my knee and said “no, because your knee actually doesn’t feel that unstable.” good, i thought.

after surgery i was informed “your acl is entirely in tact.” wait, what? how could that be? nine months prior, i had an mri scan and 4-5 different professional opinions all confirm the same diagnosis: i had completely ruptured my acl. there was no “end point” and a significant difference in laxity between my knees. and for me, i “felt” the pop. i knew what that pop meant. i knew it was my acl. how could i now have a fully functioning acl?

who knows. perhaps i never “fully” tore my acl. perhaps the “pop” was actually my meniscus. or perhaps, me joking with my doctor about healing my acl actually came to fruition.

after receiving my initial diagnosis, the doctor wanted to discuss a reconstruction. i refused. mentally and emotionally i couldn’t go through that again. instead, 4.5 months of devoted conservative management and a further 4.5 months of continued strength work and i have a fully functional acl.

so what does this all mean? for health care professionals, it’s so important to treat the person, not the diagnosis. collectively, due to the law of large numbers, you can successfully predict the outcome of many patients. but individually? you cannot. all individuals respond differently because all individuals are different. as such, they should be treated according to their symptoms and functionality, not what the picture says.

and for individuals, don’t always accept your diagnosis as a life sentence. be open. be curious. be the statistical anomaly.

BELIEF

take a great player, put them in a toxic team. what happens? the great player becomes not-so-great. is it the player’s fault, or is it perhaps the environment?

something that has become increasingly more evident in the sporting world, and the world in general, is the importance of believing in a player / person.

despite playing in the WNPL, the highest local league in the state, the number of players who believe that they’re not good players is astounding. and troublesome too. how could a player of this caliber believe they weren’t good? as a player who believed this myth for 26 years, i can answer: from previous coaches.

when a player is overlooked, particularly a female player, she internalises it. she questions, what did i do wrong? why am i not good enough? how can i be better? and the saddest reality, is often there’s nothing “wrong” with her, other than she’s in the wrong environment.

this current season, i have a teammate who was overlooked at her previous club because he thought she “wasn’t good enough”. she comes into this team, and she starts. not only does she start, but she’s the rock in the midfield and defence. she’s a work horse. and most importantly? she’s an incredible person with such a compassionate nature.

so how do you explain this? did she miraculously become an amazing player? no. what changed was she had a coach that believed in her. a coach that knew she was good enough and committed herself to communicating that message during every game, every training, every interaction.

all it takes is for one person to believe in you. one person to help you realise - you know what? all those other coaches were WRONG. foolish, even, to overlook you. and i’m thankful that i play for a team in which our coach does just that. she builds players up, not breaks them down. and the effect? she’s developed players who are strong. confident. and fearless. players who finally believe, after 26 years, that they are in fact good enough. and that? that’s invaluable.

so be that kind of coach. be that kind of person. be better.