Self-isolation

That’s what we’ve all essentially been confined to, except for those that are still working. What could possibly be so hard about staying at home all day, with absolutely nothing to do, no responsibilities to attend to, and no events to prepare for? For some people, this might seem like an ideal holiday. But for many others, this is the start of a prolonged nightmare.

We as humans need purpose. We need structure. Routine. We need a reason to wake up every morning. And for the millions of people who are now jobless, they’ve lost all of that. In addition to people losing their jobs, gyms and sporting teams have also been closed down. For many people, exercising at the gym is their outlet. It’s their coping mechanism. For those on sporting teams, it’s their sense of community. Their tribe. It’s where they feel valued. Safe. Home.

So what does it mean to have lost all of that, and all of a sudden? It means that we’re at risk. At risk of falling into situational depression. This is all also compounded by the fact that we can’t see other people in the same capacity that we previously were. It means that people living alone might go entire days without speaking to anyone, let alone seeing anyone else. And the worst part? No one knows when any of this is going to end. So the effects of these deprivations could become costly to many people’s mental health and livelihoods.

So what can we do to overcome these risks? The first suggestion I have is to keep moving. For those of you able and most at risk of developing depressive symptoms, I highly recommend you look for another job. And fast. Things in motion tend to stay in motion, whereas things at rest tend to stay at rest. If you spend too long at home, getting used to not having a job or reason to wake up every morning, you’ll feel less motivated to suddenly change that trajectory.

For those not interested or unable to obtain an alternative job, I recommend creating some sense of structure or routine to your life. Set your alarm at an appropriate time to go for a walk, or go to the beach, or commence an early morning workout, or organise an early morning phone call to a friend in another country, to your grandparents you can’t see. Give yourself a reason to wake up every morning and stay up – make your bed, have a shower, keep moving.

As far as exercising, it’s imperative to keep receiving endorphin releases. But it can be extremely challenging to stay motivated when it’s just you – a lot of motivation around exercise is associated with other benefits, the social or community aspect, or the competitive aspect, or the sense of feeling like you’re making a difference or achieving something collectively. So how can you still receive these benefits whilst also abiding by the government regulations of social distancing? Perhaps you can contact a friend or family member to accompany you on a run, or to kick a ball around, or perhaps you can Facetime someone whilst you both complete an at-home-workout, competing with each other. Whatever you do, try to do it with someone else, either virtually or in person. Not only does this aid in social interaction, but it aids in accountability and commitment too.

In my post yesterday, I mentioned how this pandemic is an opportunity for all of us to reconnect. But I failed to offer suggestions as to how. In previous posts, I’ve alluded to the negative effects of technology – to the superficial, convenient interactions that ensue. And to the fact that technology is making us more accessible, but less connected. Now, however, we’re essentially relying on technology to provide us with the latter – to be the primary source of our connection. So how can we achieve this? By being intentional with our connections. Instead of texting friends and family, call them. Skype them. Facetime them. Hear and see other humans as much as possible, and as safely as possible.

If you’re able, and coffee shops remain open, grab a takeaway coffee and go for a walk along the beach. Not only are you supporting local cafes and getting a healthy dose of oxytocin and serotonin from the social interaction, but you’re also chucking in some endorphins through exercise. Simon Sinek posted something on his page today that I thought was a great idea – it was essentially a virtual book club. So perhaps connect with friends who are into reading and suggest a book for you all to read with discussions to occur weekly. Or if you’re into writing, painting, any sort of craft work, connect with others online and share your work.

This could also be a chance for people to reset and reflect. To spend time reassessing what they want in life, what’s important to them, and what is their why. My recent trip to Hamilton Island allowed me the space, time, and freedom to explore these questions. This time now allows me even more time to potentially crack down on writing a book. But the point is, we as humans need to have goals. We need to have purpose. We need to have routine. From a conditioning perspective, I would recommend dedicating a room or space specifically to exercising or getting “work” (reflective or leisurely) done. This space, if you only use it for the aforementioned reasons, will subconsciously cue you to engage in those desired behaviours.

I would also recommend to-do lists with dedicated time constraints. When we have unlimited time on our hands, we’re not very productive because we can procrastinate and “do it tomorrow”. In regards to looking after your mental health, now is an opportune time to invest in some house plants. Not only do plants look aesthetically pleasing, but they give you a sense of responsibility – they give you a sense of satisfaction every time they grow. Likewise with pets. They offer a sense of comfort and connection during this isolating time, whilst also giving you a sense of responsibility each day.

The last point I want to make is about hope. One of the hardest things about what we’re going through is the fact that we don’t know how long it’s going to last. We don’t know how long it will take before life, as we once knew it, will return to normal. And that isn’t comforting. Because it makes it more difficult to have hope. That’s one of the primary reasons many people are suggesting we go onto lockdown for 2-3 months. As devastating as it might be for our economy, it gives everyone the lifeline they need: hope. Hope of returning to normalcy in a reasonable time, not the prolonged forecast that is to be expected from “flattening the curve”. Nevertheless, whatever the government decides, we all have a responsibility in doing our part. Of abiding by the social distancing rules. And hopefully now, a few more tools to combat the potentially damaging social and mental effects of self-isolation. If you have any other ideas, please feel free to share. Look after yourselves, but also look after each other.

Covid-19

What a time to be alive. We’re in the middle of something that has the potential to be a turning point in history. This is the first pandemic the majority of us has ever experienced and hopefully, will ever experience. It’s also the first pandemic in history in which we have technology as a tool to aid in communication. There will undoubtedly be countless studies researching the behaviours of people during this time, and what might they say so far?

From what I’ve observed, there’s been two kinds of people – there’s been the people who, despite literally the entire world going through the exact same crisis (admittedly to varying degrees), are playing a victim. These are also the people that are likely to be panicking and hoarding supplies – buying in excess rather than in need. Buying for themselves with complete disregard to the remainder of the population. But then there are the people who are supporting those in times of struggle, those that are offering their supplies or facilities to those in need, those that are remaining calm, loving, and generous. So which type of person are you choosing to be?

Crises and adversities have the ability to divide or the ability to connect. I like to see this as an opportunity for the latter. It’s an opportunity for us as humans to get back to the basics of what it means to be human – to look after one another. Last week during a team meeting I held for Salisbury Inter, I proposed this question to my teammates – how can you make someone’s life easier? What is one small thing that you can do that will make a big difference in someone else’s life? I gave the example in soccer of making that extra recovery run to cover your teammate, dropping those extra few metres to drag a defender away from your teammate, or communicating on the field. Those small actions are effortless. But they make a massive difference. And during this period of high stress, I pose that question to all of you – what one, small thing can you do that will have a big impact on someone else?

This is a time of massive uncertainty. And uncertainty is not something that humans readily embrace. Because we crave certainty. We want answers. We want to know how long this damn thing will last. We want to know how we’re going to survive. But the reality is, no one has any answers. No one can predict the future. No one knows how bad this could potentially get. Yes, being uncertain is uncomfortable. And yes, with uncertainty comes feelings of anxiousness, stress, panic, fear. All of which are completely okay to be feeling. As are feelings of disappointment over holidays that need to be cancelled, over jobs that you’ve lost, over family that you might not be able to see. These feelings are okay. And these feelings are to be expected. It’s what makes us human. What’s not okay is the behaviour that results from the anxiousness – the panic buying, the hoarding, the fighting over toilet paper. How are your behaviours making life easier for someone else? Do you really need that extra packet of pasta? Or those extra sanitary items? Or is it possible that you can survive for a week without them?

Stressing about the future won’t make anything more certain in the present. As I already mentioned, no one knows how long any of this is going to last. But what I do know, is that the government will not allow us to suffer. There will be protocols in place to ensure that those small businesses that have had to close, the small businesses that make countries the country that they are, will find a way to reopen. Just as the government will not let people starve because they are out of a job. Look at petrol prices right now – they’re the lowest they’ve ever been in five years. This isn’t something that any single country can monopolise because every country is going through very similar adversities. But what we need from each other, is a collective mentality. A mentality of “how can we get through this” not, “how can I get through this?” That is perhaps why there was such a negative reaction surrounding the Adelaide café that set up a GoFundMe page asking their customers for donations – yes, your business is struggling, but so is the entire industry. Do what you can to not just benefit yourself, but those around you.

As for the stimulus payments, I believe that we should be prioritising those that absolutely need the payments above those that can survive a few days or weeks without them. It’s almost like Simon Sinek’s Leaders Eat Last policy – if you don’t need it, wait. Let those that do need it get in first. In the same way that if you were in the emergency department with a life-or-death ailment, you would want to be treated before someone who might just have a cold.

This is a challenging time for everyone – absolutely every single person in this world will be affected by Covid-19 in some way or another. What a time then, to connect. To come together. To be there for one another. To get to know your neighbours. To spend time with family. To get creative with leisurely activities. This is something bigger than you. It’s bigger than your family. And it’s even bigger than our country. This is about the entire human race relearning what it means to be human and being human means looking out for one another. If we all vouch to take care of those around us, those in our immediate circles and potentially beyond depending on your financial resources, we can all get out of this primarily unscathed.

So yes, this crisis has the potential to bring out the worst in people, but I believe it also has the potential to bring out the very best in people. But that comes down to a choice. So how are you choosing to respond? Are you responding in fear, or in generosity? In selfishness, or in expansiveness? What is one thing you can do to make someone else’s life easier? Check in with your friends, check in with your family, and check in with yourself. We’re all in this together. Literally.

DEFY THE ODDS

six months ago, i tore my acl for the third time. i was distraught. heartbroken. devastated. i thought i would never play soccer again. i refused to have another reconstruction, not just because of the physical rehab but because i knew, mentally and emotionally, i just couldn’t go through that again.

so i asked my doc, can i try and play without an acl? his response: you can. but probably only 1 in 100 people can do it. are you that one person? probably not given your history of acls, but it’s worth a try. let’s start with three months conservative management and go from there.

i hit the gym hard for four months. i strengthened i stabilised and i succeeded. i returned to training and completed two pre season games, and tonight, six months after tearing my acl, i’m making my official comeback by playing in round 1 of the wnpl.

the truth is, no one really knows what’s going to happen in the future. my doc’s advice was based on sound knowledge. and the stats? those are based on the reality that not many people have even attempted to play without an acl. the more we challenge limitations, the more opportunities that will unfold. and not just for ourselves, but for others too. once we see one person achieve something, it makes it achieveable for us too. representation matters.

so are you choosing to be confined by the limitations of others, or are you choosing to defy the odds and lead a movement?