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Writer's picturenicole calder

ANGER IS OUR GATEWAY

we often perceive anger as being a negative emotion or an undesirable attribute, but what if anger is actually what defines us?


in one of the school of life books that i read last year was a question that the author posed as being a necessity for getting to know who someone really is - who are you when you're mad? albeit a fantastic question, i take this question one step further - what makes you mad?


we attribute anger and madness as being the worst parts of ourselves, but what if they're our gateway into ourselves? i believe anger fuels us. it motivates us. it highlights what we deem to be important, it shows us what we value.


over the past few years there have been a few situations that have infuriated me, many of which have been associated with money. but it's not the money that lies at the root of the anger; it's fairness. as complex as humans may be, there are a few things that aren't so complex about us - like our need for fairness. or our need to feel valued.


in a world where comparison is readily accessible and often unavoidable, learning of others' treatment can often be a disservice. humans opt for the path of the least resistance. so when someone has to continually fight for their worth, for their value, i can guarantee their fight won't last long.


because although anger is a fuel to catalyse change, there's only so much fuel you can put on a fire before that person realises the fire will never be self-sufficient; that their value will never be actualised.


so the next time you're angry, don't suppress your anger. become curious. determine the root cause of the anger and use that as motivation to either change the situation, or prevent that situation from occuring with others. become the person you wish you had. and the next time you see that someone's angry? listen to their anger - listen beyond the words. listen to the values they're communicating. listen to the root of the problem. only then can you truly rectify the problem.


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