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Writer's picturenicole calder

CHOOSE LOVE, NOT FEAR

i've never understood why we complicate love and relationships. if you like someone and they like you, why then would you not want to be with them?


being with them doesn't necessarily mean you need to marry them or spend the rest of your life with them - but in this moment, if the feelings between two parties are mutual, what's the obstruction? quite often i've found, it's fear.


fear of ruining the friendship. fear of things not working out. fear of getting hurt. all fears that i acknowledge are real and ever present. fears i too have felt in the past and still experience today.


but despite these fears, i still choose love. because love is expansive and fear is restrictive. let me use an analogy.


say you have a ring - it's the most beautiful thing you've ever owned and it means a lot to your family. are you ever going to wear that ring or are you going to leave it in a cupboard, out of sight and out of reach from everyone, including yourself? wouldn't you rather wear the ring, show that ring off to the world, and enjoy the beauty of experiencing that ring? is there a fear that you'll lose it? absolutely! but is it not better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?


people are like this ring. you can keep them hidden, protecting them from others, but that protection will never eradicate the fear. nor will it add value to your life. your life will become restrictive as you try to control and prevent something that might happen anyway from happening.


so if you like someone, and they like you, don't complicate it. choose love, not fear.

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